Since hearing that Beyonce Knowles publicly attributed her svelte figure in Dreamgirls to a lemon bath detox program, a friend of mine recently joined the cheerleading team for what is also called the Lemonade Diet.
After ten days, she said she lost ten kilos and was practically bouncing off the walls as she gushed about how much more energized and happy she was because of her lemons. I thought ‘lemons’ was another word for some kind of recreational drug and I was about to walk out of her apartment then and there. Then she dragged me over to her fridge and showed me a drawer full of innocent-looking fresh lemons.
She proceeded to tell me about the benefits of the lemon bath detox program – how it effectively cleanses your body, strengthens your immune system, makes you feel energized, gives you a positive, happier outlook on life while also clearing your skin, making your hair shinier and, most importantly to a lot of people, helps you lose weight.
All these benefits are just by replacing all solid foods with up to 10 glasses of lemon mix a day (mix of lemons, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper) between 5 to 14 days. As I rolled my eyes, thinking of other failed fad diets, she assured me that the drink provided enough nutrients to satisfy one’s hunger cravings.
I sat there, glowering as she continued to gush. Then I realized I had been doing that a lot lately over the course of winter.
Glowering. Glowering at my hubby for taking up the pathway every time we walk and practically pushing me onto the grass with a litter of shit; glowering because I can’t seem to ‘seal a steak’ properly; glowering at Billy Blanks every time he tells me through the TV to stop bouncing.
I had lost my motivation to exercise regularly and eat properly and while I imagined with horror the grease oozing out of my pores as I devour another KFC 2-piece feed, I couldn’t seem to stop. shop it
lemon bath detox
A lemon bath detox is a popular home remedy that people use to relax, rejuvenate, and potentially reap some health benefits. While it’s important to note that there isn’t strong scientific evidence to support many of the claims associated with lemon bath detox, some individuals find them soothing and enjoyable. Here’s how you can prepare a lemon bath detox:
- Lemons: You’ll need a few fresh lemons or lemon essential oil.
- Epsom Salt: Epsom salt is often added to bathwater for its potential relaxation and muscle-soothing properties.
- Baking Soda: Baking soda can help soften the water and promote relaxation.
- Warm Bathwater: You’ll need a bathtub filled with warm water.
Hearing my friend humming to herself as she prepared another lemon drink and seeing the glow on her face, the sparkle in her eyes, I finally decided to try this detox program – not to lose weight (I am a firm believer that to lose weight and keep it off, you need to get off your ass and exercise, exercise, exercise) but to cleanse my digestive system
so I could be regular again instead of feeling bloated and constipated which had sent me to many sessions of glowering, slumped over the toilet and my hubby threatening to lock me in there until I came out of my ‘black’ mood.
Planning to do it for four days or however long it took to get me regular, I began the program the next day. In addition to the lemon bath detox drink, I also had to drink a cup of laxative tea at night and a cup of salt water first thing in the morning, all to help with bowel movements.
The taste of the lemon mix was surprisingly…nice. It doesn’t beat my cappuccino or Coke Zero but I wasn’t gagging on it like I was with the Poo Tea.
The first six hours of the program were pretty good – no protests from my stomach at 10 a.m. when it realized it had skipped breakfast. I felt full and didn’t feel weak or lethargic from lack of solid food, although a little envious as the smell of lasagne heating in the microwave wafted into my office. Then 3 pm rolled around and my stomach let out a long, loud, rumbling sound like my belly button was farting. And it refused to stop. For the next three days.
In meetings, I had to conceal the rumbling sounds with a series of coughs that my throat was getting sore. During the quiet periods, I found myself snarling at the image of my friend cheerfully telling me I would not get hungry while also fighting the feeling of weakness creeping in.
The home was no better. I had to lock myself in the bedroom while hubby prepared his dinner and slept early to prevent myself from raiding the fridge. I had no energy to exercise and my mood only got worse. On top of glowering at everything,
I started talking aloud to myself just so I could drown out the protests of my stomach. Despite drinking the laxative tea and the salt water, there were no bowel movements for the first two days. After it finally came on the afternoon of the third day, I thought I was going to pass out.
While I had lost half a kilo during the course of three days, my skin remained sallow, my eyes dull, my hair as brittle as always, I felt faint and very irritable.
While my friend reminded me that I had to stick to the program for at least another three days to get the full benefits, I was sick of hearing my hubby now threatening to drive me into the middle of the Blue Mountains and leave me there and told her, as nicely as I could, that the lemon bath detox program had done its job for me and that I would probably not look at lemons the same way again.
Keep in mind that while some people believe in the detoxifying properties of lemon baths, there isn’t concrete scientific evidence to support these claims. However, the warm water, lemon aroma, and Epsom salt can make for a pleasant and relaxing experience.